Some time has passed since my last visit to this blog, and I won’t make excuses- although my explination of being in between jobs and feeling generally uninspired are the ones I would submit in this circumstance.
But that’s ok, because frankly- I don’t write these blog posts to please a reader. Do I hope that one person reads my post and feels a little better every now and then? Of course. And yet, writing seems to serve my needs equally.
Here is all the history you need to know about me to appreciate where I am going with this one.
1.) I went to K-12 at the same school. 2.) I’m about 1.5 months into a new job.
I remember feeling lucky and prideful as a kid, when I could share I’ve always attended the same school. You know everyone in class, even with new year adjustments to work in the “newbies”. You have an inside scoop on the next grade and what the teacher selecction is like. You know where to sit at lunch. You know all of the cliques, the groups, the classmates.
And they know you.
Which is sort of the point where I now find regret.
From an early point, my self defined reputation in K-12 would be this: always singing, not cool but not NOT cool, talkative, wacky, loud, boy crazy.
But more than anything- any part of my personality that had granted me an adjective on that list, was set in stone. That is the identity I had. No room for recreation, no room to expose yourself to new people who really see your traits in a new way.
(Oh the frustration of trying to express myself and be seen in a new way, only to have found myself pigeon holed in the same expected way!)
And then, I grew up a little.
Now to be honest, I know that obviously not much on that self defined reputation list has changed. After all, they say that our key personality traits are rooted by the time we are three.
The difference now- is that everyday can be a new beginning.
I’m 1.5 months into a new job. I work with really wonderful people in my department. It seems as though before I ask for help with something, I have friendly offers already extending a hand. Everyone is professional, talented, and trusting in each other. And with me in the mix, we are new to each other.
The parts of myself that I love most- I can really share. I can really introduce myself and create a new something or other that had no previous expectation attached. I mean for goodness sake- most of these people don’t even know yet, THAT I DON’T LIKE PEANUT BUTTER! I cannot explain how exciting that is to me! Almost everyone knows that!
… (calms down)…
Of course new beginnings happen every day. The are usually small starts, or little encounters.
But inside of that new opportunity to share myself for the first time- are those little pieces that I can’t help but love.